Dowager Princesse d'Angoumois Versailles, December 6, 1773

Dearest Madame,

I could not wait to write you Mama after a day of ever so eventful happenings. There is so much to share I feel as though I'm bursting with news! First I must convey the most positive of the happenings, at the salon of the Comte d'Artois, which I may say was frightfully empty of courtiers, the most stern Madame Royale spoke so very highly of me. At first I thought that she may be false in her praise, as you well know she is known to bring ladies up to shoot them down once more. But Mama she was complete in her praise, calling me pious and even speaking so very highly of your future daughter in law the Mlle de Bidache. I could have burst with pride this day, for praise from Madame Royale is as sparse as flowers in winter. Alas, not having Henri attend court is yet unsettling, especially with his wedding drawing so near, I am often questioned as to where he has gotten himself off to. Were you to do your daughter a favor for thisChristmasseason, it would be to convince your dearest son, my brother, to not shirk his duties in makingappearanceat events.

Now for the questionable and rather disparaging events of the days, and may I first preface this selection with a warning that it is pure scandal in each word and enough to turn thestomachin it's wickedness. I came upon my dear cousin in the market and had the most delightful of conversations only to be broken apart by the oddest of invitations. As you know theMonsieurTartuffe has been, oddly enough, welcomed at court and has taken up an apartment. As you might have heard there is all manner of scandal surrounding the man but upon encouragement that there might be music at such a salon I dared attend. Oh Mama this is where it gets most delicate, first the arrangement was quite... odd. Idisdainto call him so, but my 'Uncle' the Comte de Chiverny was in presence, odd in itself as he is quite open of his dislike of all the non nobles at court. Then when the discussions, or lashings of viper tongues, had begun Madame du Barry herself madeappearance! Now mother I know my cousin the Duchesse approves of her but Lord in heaven I can not bring myself to do more than smile and nod at the preening crow! You may think me horribly un-christian for this but Mama she is most horrible and without any piety. I don't think the lady capable of passing a reflection without stopping to admire and praise herself, and I can say short of the Royal wedding I've never seen her at mass.

See now I've diverged from my most scandalous story with the great du barry as if you weren't keenly aware of her. Do forgive me, Mama, my mind is quite easily diverged of late. Now then to the heart of the event... There was of course the usual back and forth between the Tartuffe man and the Comte de Chiverny, well less back and forth and more the Comte disparaging the man's very breath. Then the Comte turns his viper tongue on the young Mlle de Liseaux. Now Mama I know what you'll say, butdespiteher birth she really is the most bright young girl. I can not possibly believe all the wicked things said about everyone at court, for to do so is to believe court is not in fact filled with nobles and courtiers but whore's andcharlatans But to speak of such vile rumors with the young mlle sitting right there, it was so very wicked. Mama you'll council me to have kept my temper but I'm afraid I could not sit idle while he spoke of such things. Not only because of the shame and harm it would cause a young woman, but that I was shamed and harmed just by hearing such vile things. I know, I was terribly wrong to speak so to the Comte, and I assure you I've seen diligently to my prayers and begged God for forgiveness for speaking so to the Comte. Mama, I willendeavorto show him the regard due his station, but I can not abide the man for much time if he is to continue his behavior. If he were a man of Royal birth it would be understood, they are above us and are to push us to better ourselves, but he himself is most often a font of gossip for his wicked deeds and prevails upon those at court to witness how grand he think himself. My dearest Mama I fear his association, even by marriage to our house is distressing. Please do think on this and engage me in conference as to how best I manage any ills that might show upon our house.

With that scandal at end, as I left in haste to spare myself hearing anything more, I retreated from Versailles to the duchy for a meeting with my favorite seamstress. Mother I must admit I have done something wicked... horribly wicked. While in the duchy I made theacquaintanceof the most wonderful young gentleman. Let me preface this next statement with the warning that I was at all times wellchaperonedand did not do anything unseemly... But I attended his parlor for some discussion for some hour or so. It has reminded me of two things; One that I am dreadfully wicked and must always strive to better myself and devote myself to God and my duties, lest I be taken off with my fancies. Two that I was born into position and duty and it is very doubtful I will ever find love in marriage as You and Papa, or Henri have. Oh mama he was so wonderfully delightful, and I was so free to speak without worry that he would sneak my words to the gossips for a smile and position. Part of me thinks I could be most happy with a husband such as that, who travels and adventures... Don't fret mother You know better than to think I would let myself have such adalliance. I must always tryto remind myself that my duty is not found in romance and the things of writers... though I wish it could be at times. Why must I be such a silly wicked girl? Should I attend to church and pray to be forgiven and broken from these desires? I pray to God to be forgiven for my wickedness in even thinking for a moment I wanted to walk from my duty to sail off with some rogue.

I thank you dearest mother for your last letter, it brought me such comfort and I have as always taken your words to heart. I will continue without hesitation to better myself and keep far from the scandals that taint others at court... though I know not how to avoid them all. True friends are lacking at court but I hold in my heart that I will find others interested in true betterment of self and service to the crown, court and God. I pray this letter finds you in good spirits and packing for the return to Versailles for the Wedding. I am most eager to hear from you that you will be present as I long for even an afternoon of your company.

With all my love and ever your faithful daughter,

Marie-Jocelyn de Saint Cyr