How do you treat your servants ? If the answer is badly you
may be behaving in a historically accurate way. Since tasking on the role of
valet in the court of Versailles I have noticed many different attitudes
towards my role from different people. And it must be said that the ones who
treat my character in a demanding way tend to make the most interesting role
play. The role of servant can be very satisfying and pivotal to many rp
scenarios. He or She can play the spy or get his revenge on a demanding master
or mistress in lots of different and often amusing ways. Servants are essential
to the running of any great house and I would advise anyone wanting to take on
a role such as this to read "Swifts
rules for servants"
And your comments please!!
Item of the Day: Swifts Rules for Servants (1753)
Full Title:
Miscellanies. By Dr. Swift. The Eleventh Volume. London:
Printed for C. Hitch, C. Davis, C. Bathurst, R. Dodsley, and W.
Bowyer. MDCCLIII.
RULES that concern All Servants in general.
When your Master or
Lady calls a Servant by Name, if that Servant be not in the Way, none of you
are to answer, for then there will be no end of your Drudgery: And Masters themselves allow, that, if a
Servant comes when he is called, it is sufficient.
When you have done a Fault, be always pert and insolent, and
behave yourself as if you were the injured Person; this will immediately put
your Master or Lady off their Mettle.
If you see your Master wronged by any of your
Fellow-Servants, be sure to conceal it, for fear of being called a
Tell-tale: However there is one
Exception, in case of a favourite Servant, who is justly hated by the whole
Family; who therefore are bound in Prudence to lay all the Faults you can upon
the Favourite.
The Cook, the Butler, the Groom, the Market-man, and every
other Servant who is concerned in the Expences of the Family, should act as if
his Masters whole Estate ought to be applied to that Servants particular
Business. For instance, if the Cook
computes his Masters Estate to be a Thousand Pounds a Year will afford Meat
enough, and therefore he need not be sparing; the Butler makes the same
Judgment, so may the Groom and the Coachman, and thus every Branch of Expence
will be filled to your Masters Honour.
When you are chid before Company (which with Submission to
our Masters and Ladies is an unmannerly Practice) it often happens that some
Stranger will have the Good-nature to drop a Word in your Excuse; in such a
Case, you will have a good Title to Justify yourself, and may rightly conclude,
that, whenever he chides you afterwards on other occasions, he may be in the
wrong; in which opinion you will be the better confirmed by stating the Case to
your Fellow-servants in your own Way, who will certainly decide in your
Favour: therefore, as I have said
before, whenever you are chidden, complain as if you were injured.
It often happens, that Servants sent on Messages are apt to
stay out somewhat longer than the Message requires, perhaps, two, four, six, or
eight Hours, or some such Trifle, for the Temptation to be sure was great, and
Flesh and Blood cannot always resist:
When you return, the Master storms, the Lady scolds; stripping,
cudgelling, and turning off, is the Word.
But here you ought to be provided with a Set of Excuses, enough to serve
on all occasions: For instance, your
Uncle came Fourscore Miles to Town this Morning, on purpose to see you, and
goes back by Break of Day To-morrow: A
Brother-servant, that borrowed Money of you when he was out of Place, was
running away to Ireland: You were taking
Leave of an old Fellow-Servant, who was shipping for Barbados: Your Father sent a Cow to you to sell, and
you could not get a Chapman till Nine at Night:
You were taking leave of a dear Cousin, who is to be hanged next
Saturday: You wrencht your Foot against
a Stone, and were forced to stay three Hours in a Shop, before you could Stir a
Step: Some Nastiness was thrown on you
out of a Garret-Window, and you were ashamed to come Home before you were
cleaned, and the Smell went off: You
were pressed for the Sea-service, and carried before a Justice of Peace, who
kept you three Hours before he examined you, and you got off with much a-do: A Bailiff by mistake seized you for a Debtor,
and kept you the whole Evening in a Spunging-house: You were told your Master had gone to a
Tavern, and came to some Mischance, and your Grief was so great that you
enquired for his Honour in a hundred Taverns between Pall-mall and Temple-bar.
Take all Tradesmen Parts against your Master, and when you
are sent to buy any Thing, never offer to cheapen it, but generously pay the
full Demand. This is highly to your
Masters Honour ; and may be some Shillings in your Pocket; and you are to
consider, if your Master hath paid too much, he can better afford the Loss than
a poor Tradesman.
Never submit to stir a Finger in any Business but that for
which you were particularly hired. For
Example, if the Groom be drunk, or absent, and the Butler be ordered to shut
the Stable Door, the Answer is ready, An please your Honour, I dont understand
Horses: If a Corner of the Hanging wants
a single Nail to flatten it, and the Footman be directed to tack it up, he may
say, he doth not understand that sort of Work, but his Honour may send for the
Upholsterer.
Masters and Ladies are usually quarrelling with the Servants
for not shutting the Doors after them:
But neither Masters nor Ladies consider, that those Doors mus be open
before they can be shut, and that the Labour is double to open and shut the
Doors; therefore the best, and shortest, and easiest Way is to do neither. But if you are so often teized to shut the
Door, that you cannot easily forget it, then give the Door such a Clap as you go
out, as will shake the whole Room, and make every Thing rattle in it, to put
your Master and Lady in Mind that you observe their Directions.
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updated by @john-wilmot-earl-of-rochester: 25 Oct 2016 09:21:43AM
