Don Aldo Stern, senior Magistrate for the Island of Rocca Sorrentina in the Sorrento district of the Kingdom of Napoli stood at the end of the new structure.  Oddly enough, after just a few months of weathering during the construction, it had already acquired an apparent patina of age.  But then of course, it was built mostly with salvaged materials scrounged from the far side of the island, and other old stone, iron banding and bollards brought down by His Majesty's engineers from the royal yards at Castellammare.  That was the main reason it went up so quickly: the stone was already cut and dressed, and there was the remains of the foundation of the mole that had been built by the Elswitts when they held title to the island.  Once the support and interest of King Ferdinando was squarely behind the project, the actual construction was relatively straightforward.  "Everything in life should be so simple," thought the magistrate.

That original mole had been demolished not long before Don Aldo had come to the island, some six years ago.  Il Principe had devised a plan to expand the size of the harbor, which had been carried out in his absence, while he went on that fateful trip to the new World.  Boulders had been placed to create a breakwater, the harbor had been dredged, a fine stone dock added right by the grand arch, and the old mole was level to permit larger ships into the older part of the labor by the roman steps.  

The only problem was larger ships hadn't used that space as intended.  Instead, the biggest ships anchored out in the new harbor, sheltered from the winds by the little island with the former harbormaster's house where Donna Sere now resided, and under the protection of the heavy guns of the "nuova fortezza."  They also had more room to maneuver out there: the old inner harbor was  fairly confined.  Smaller ships did alright, but as the economy of the island kept improving and more vessels stopped to exchange cargoes and discharge or take on passengers, more dock space was needed.  So the council of magistrates of Rocca Sorentina had devised the plan to rebuild the old mole...now the "new mole"...or was it perhaps best called the "new old mole?"

Well, either way, it hopefully would serve trade well, and it certainly looked fine...it was not the biggest such structure, even among the smaller coastal communities around the bay, and certainly looked tiny when compared to the great mole in Napoli, but it had been finished off nicely and seemed like it would serve its purpose well.  

And standing out at its end and looking back to the island, it certainly provided an excellent and appealing new view of the village...

Don Aldo looked up at the ancient campanile of the church, and the charming, asymmetrical jumble of houses, including his own odd little villa with the off-centered porch, grape vines, and arbor made from salvaged ship's timbers.  The west side of the village looked as if some irresponsible giant child had casually dumped toy houses and blocks at random on a sand pile at the beach, and then wandered off, leaving the mess to eventually be collected by some long-suffering but infinitely patient giant governess or nanny.

As the setting sun made the little houses and ancient stones glow with warmth, the magistrate was once again struck that it was perhaps one of the most beautiful locales he had seen during the course of his travels, and certainly stood out as his own personal favorite place on the planet.

I am having trouble creating notecards in SL (asset server threw up, I think). Therefore I am posting the readings here so that people can see them, in the unlikely event that SL stays broken.

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"Humor. The English use this word to describe original, surprising and unusual wit. Among this nations authors, none had as much humor, or this original form of comic expression, as Swift, who, by the form he gave to his jokes, sometimes produced effects on his compatriots that you would not expect from reading serious and closely reasoned works. Ridiculum acri , etc ( A joke often decides... Horace, Satires , Book I, Chapter 10). So in advising the English to eat the little children of Ireland with cauliflower, he caused the British government to re-examine its position at a time when they were preparing to deprive the Irish of the last resources of trade that they had left. The title of this pamphlet is A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, etc. Another of Swifts works, Gullivers Travels , is a satire brimming with humor . In a similar style is Swifts joke in which he predicted the exact date of death of Partridge, the author of almanacs. At the foreseen date, Swift attempted to prove to Partridge that he was indeed dead, despite the latters protests to the contrary. In fact the English are by no means the only people who have had their fair share of humor . Swift took a good deal of inspiration from the works of Rabelais and Cyrano de Bergerac. Count Grammonts Memoirs are full of humor and can be considered as a masterpiece of the genre. We could even say that generally this form of comedy is more a property of the light and merry spirit of the French than the serious and rational turn of mind of the English."

-- Author unknown, "The Encyclopedia of Diderot and D'Alembert, " 1765

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"A Man being very much diseased and weak, was bemoaning himself to hs only Son, whom he loved very well: For, Jack, says he, if I stand, my egs ach; if I kneel, my Knees ach; if I go, my Feet ach; if I lie, then my Bak achs; if I sit, my Hips ach; and if I lean, my Elbows ach. Why truly Father, says he (like a good dutiful Child) I advise you to hang yourself for an Hour or two, and if that does not do, then come to me again."

From "Coffee-House Jests," 1760

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"An arch Rogue meeting a blind Woman who was crying Puddings and Pies, taking her by the Arm said Come along with me Dame, I am going to Moorfields, where this Holliday-time, you may Chance to meet with good Custom. Thanke kindly, Sir, says she. Whereupon he conducted her to Cripplegate Church, and placed her in the middle Isle. Now, says he, you are in Moorfields: which she believing to be true, immediately cried out, Hot Puddings and Pies! Hot Puddings and Pies! come their all Hot! &c. which caused the whole Congregation to burst out in a loud Laughter, and the Clerk came and told her she was in a Church: You are a lying son of a Whore, says she. Which so enraged the Clerk, that he dragged her out of the Church: she cursing and damning him all the while, nor would she believe him till she heard the Organs play."

From The Merry Miscellany, undated mid-18th century British jestbook

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"A deaf Man was selling of Pears at the Towns End in St Giless, and a Gentleman riding out of Town, asked him what it was oClock?

He said, "Ten a Penny, Master."

Then he asked him again, "what it was oClock?"

He told him, Indeed he could afford no more.

"You Rogue," says the Gentleman, "Ill kick you about the Streets."

Then says the Man, "Sir, if you wont, another will."

From Coffee-House Jests, 1760

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"A young Man married to an ill-temperd Woman, who not contented,tho he was very kind to her, made continual Complaints to her Father,to the great Grief of both Families; the Husband, no longer able to
endure this scurvy Humour, bangd her soundly: Hereupon shecomplaind to her Father, who understanding well the Perverseness ofher Humour, took her to Task, and lacd her Sides soundly too; saying,Go, commend me to your Husband, and tell him, I am now even withhim, for I have cudgelld his Wife, as he hath beaten my Daughter."

From Joe Millers Jests: Or, The Wits Vade-Mecum, an undated mid-18th century British jestbook

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A Woman prosecuted a Gentleman for a Rape; upon Trial the Judge askd her, if she made any Resistance?

"I cryd out, ant please your Lordship," said the Woman.

"Ay," said one of the Witnesses, "but that was nine Months after."

From The Nut-Cracker, 1751

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A young gentleman was caught defecating in St. Pauls Churchyard, with his face to the wall and his backside in full view. When asked why he couldnt turn the other way, he explained, "for thats the Way to be seen: every Body knows my Face, and no Body knows my Ase . . ."

From The Merry Medley. 1745

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"The lord Mohun and the earl of Warwick being on the ramble, theytook notice of an old woman, who early and late was boiling codlings [apples] near Charing-cross; one day they bought some of her, pitied her poverty, and promised to send her a bushel of charcoal for nothing. I thank your honours, replied the old woman. In the morning a porter brings a bushel of charcoal, at which the old woman was very joyful: but their lordships had filled up the hollow of the charcoal withgunpowder, and sealed up the ends with black wax and stood at adistance to see the effect of their project. The old womans fire beginning to decay, she supplied it with the charcoal which was sent her. In a little time, bounce went the charcoal like so many crackers, down went the kettle into the street, and away flew the codlings about the old womans ears; and she getting no hurt, their lordships were well pleased with the frolick."

From Joaks Upon Joaks, undated mid-18th century British jestbook

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"MILITARY glory is at most but one half of the accomplishments which distinguish heroes. Love must give the finishing stroke, and adorn their character by the difficulties they encounter, the temerity of their enterprises, and finally, by the lustre of success. We have examples of this, not only in romances, but also in the genuine histories of the most famous warriors, and the most celebrated conquerors.

The Chevalier de Grammont and Matta, who did not think much of these examples, were, however, of opinion, that it would be very agreeable to refresh themselves after the fatigues of the siege of Trino, by forming some other sieges, at the expense of the beauties and the husbands of Turin. As the campaign had finished early, they thought they should have time to perform some exploits before the bad weather obliged them to repass the mountains.

They sallied forth, therefore, not unlike Amadis de Gaul, or Don Galaor, after they had been dubbed knights, eager in their search after adventures in love, war, and enchantments. They were greatly superior to those two brothers, who only knew how to cleave in twain giants, to break lances, and to carry off fair damsels behind them on horseback, without saying a single word to them; whereas our heroes were adepts at cards and dice, of which the others were totally ignorant.

They went to Turin, met with an agreeable reception, and were greatly distinguished at court. Could it be otherwise? They were young and handsome; they had wit at command, and spent their money liberally. In what country will not a man succeed, possessing such advantages? As Turin was at that time the seat of gallantry and of love, two strangers of this description, who were always cheerful, brisk, and lively, could not fail to please the ladies of the court.

Though the men of Turin were extremely handsome, they were not, however, possessed of the art of pleasing. They treated their wives with respect, and were courteous to strangers. Their wives, still more handsome, were full as courteous to strangers, and less respectful to their husbands."

-- Philbert, Comte de Grammont, "the Memoirs of Count Grammont." 1713

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Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

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Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.

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Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.

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Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor.

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God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

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Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

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He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

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If you would know the value of money try to borrow some.

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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

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Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.

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Here comes the orator with his flood of words and his drop of reason.

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He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.

-- Dr. Benjamin Franklin, various dates

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The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.

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A witty saying proves nothing.

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All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

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All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

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All styles are good except the tiresome kind.

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An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.

-- Voltaire, various dates

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"I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me; had they duly consider'd how much depended upon what they were then doing;that not only the production of a rational Being was concerned in it, but that possibly the happy formation and temperature of his body, perhaps his genius and the very cast of his mind....Pray my Dear, quoth my mother, have you not forgot to wind up the clock?Good G..! cried my father, making an exclamation, but taking care to moderate his voice at the same time,Did ever woman, since the creation of the world, interrupt a man with such a silly question?...Then, let me tell you, Sir, it was a very unseasonable question at least,because it scattered and dispersed the animal spirits, whose business it was to have escorted and gone hand in hand with the Homunculus, and conducted him safe to the place destined for his reception....

I was begot in the night betwixt the first Sunday and the first Monday in the month of March, in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and eighteen. I am positive I was.But how I came to be so very particular in my account of a thing which happened before I was born, is owing to another small anecdote known only in our own family, but now made publick for the better clearing up this point.

My father, you must know....was, I believe, one of the most regular men in every thing he did, whether 'twas matter of business, or matter of amusement, that ever lived. As a small specimen of this extreme exactness of his, to which he was in truth a slave, he had made it a rule for many years of his life,on the first Sunday-night of every month throughout the whole year,as certain as ever the Sunday-night came,to wind up a large house-clock, which we had standing on the back-stairs head, with his own hands:And being somewhere between fifty and sixty years of age at the time I have been speaking of,he had likewise gradually brought some other little family concernments to the same period, in order, as he would often say to my uncle Toby, to get them all out of the way at one time, and be no more plagued and pestered with them the rest of the month.

It was attended but with one misfortune, which, in a great measure, fell upon myself, and the effects of which I fear I shall carry with me to my grave; namely, that from an unhappy association of ideas, which have no connection in nature, it so fell out at length, that my poor mother could never hear the said clock wound up,but the thoughts of some other things unavoidably popped into her head& vice versa:Which strange combination of ideas, the sagacious Locke, who certainly understood the nature of these things better than most men, affirms to have produced more wry actions than all other sources of prejudice whatsoever."

-- Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy," 1759

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"Reader, I think proper, before we proceed any further together, to acquaint thee that I intend to digress, through this whole history, as often as I see occasion, of which I am myself a better judge than any pitiful critic whatever; and here I must desire all those critics to mind their own business, and not to intermeddle with affairs or works which no ways concern them; for till they produce the authority by which they are constituted judges, I shall not plead to their jurisdiction."

Henry Fielding, "The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling," 1749

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A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in.

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A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse.

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My people and I have come to an agreement which satisfied us both. They are to say what they please, and I am to do what I please.

-- Frederick the Great, various dates

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As long as I don't write about the government, religion, politics, and other institutions, I am free to print anything.

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Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons, madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals.

I hasten to laugh at everything, for fear of being obliged to weep.

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If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it.

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It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

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Vilify, Vilify, some of it will always stick.

-- Pierre de Beaumarchais, various dates

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Peachum : ''Do you think your mother and I should have lived comfortably so long together, if ever we had been married? Baggage!''

-- John Gay, "the Beggar's Opera," 1728