2 juillet 17xx

My heart is heavy with both relief and disappointment as I pen down the events of the past few days. The anticipation of a potential suitor, Arthur de Crownguard, arriving at our estate had initially filled me with cautious hope. His letters, filled with eloquent praises and assurances of his noble intentions, had painted a portrait of a charming gentleman worthy of my consideration. 

Arthur arrived three days ago, and I must admit, his first impression was nothing short of captivating. Tall, with striking features and a demeanor that exuded confidence, he was the embodiment of the suitor my father would have deemed appropriate. His initial conduct seemed impeccable, his conversation witty and engaging. Yet, as the days unfolded, so too did the layers of his true character.

On the first evening, during a dinner in his honor, Arthur's charm began to show cracks. His boasts of hunting prowess and tales of courtly intrigue quickly grew tiresome. He seemed more interested in hearing himself speak than in engaging in meaningful dialogue. His eyes, which I initially found enchanting, often wandered from mine, revealing a disinterest that stung more than his words.

By the second day, his behavior had shifted from merely self-absorbed to outright ungentlemanly. He took liberties with our servants, treating them with a condescension that was both unbecoming and unacceptable. His attempts at flattery became invasive, his compliments turning into presumptuous remarks that disregarded my dignity and personal space.

The final straw came yesterday during a walk in the gardens. Arthur, in a moment of misplaced bravado, seized my hand without consent, pulling me closer than propriety allowed. His laughter at my discomfort was the epitome of disrespect. It was in that instant I knew—Arthur de Crownguard was a man who valued no one but himself.

Upon returning to the estate, I made the decision to end this ill-fated courtship. I confronted Arthur, expressing in no uncertain terms that his presence was no longer welcome. His reaction, a mixture of feigned surprise and indignation, only solidified my resolve. He departed this morning, his promises of retribution falling on deaf ears.

As I reflect on these past few days, I am reminded of my own worth and the standards I must uphold. A suitor, no matter how charming his facade, must possess a genuine respect for others and an honorable character. Arthur de Crownguard, despite his aristocratic title, was nothing more than a reminder that true nobility lies in one's actions, not one's birthright.

Today, I find solace in my own strength and the unwavering support of my household. My heart is lighter, free from the burden of false pretenses and unworthy intentions. I am reminded that I am better off alone than in the company of a man who does not respect or value me.

The future remains uncertain, but I am reassured by the knowledge that I am capable of discerning true virtue from mere veneer. In this, I find empowerment, and I am ready to continue my journey, with or without a suitor, as Princesse d'Aïana.

With love,

C