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Read more at French Ephemera: Prt Papier

"...I looked up quickly, into the eyes of the man who would be my partner on the journey of life, and saw not love, but something else. I had seen that look before on the faces of the many merchants who had come to see Papa. It was the look of a deal well made..."

See the whole post at:

http://oliviachapman.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-baron-takes-wife.html

((Although Belgium was known as the "Austrian Netherlands" during the period of this story, I've kept it simple and left it by its current name -- it may not be era-specific, but it's easier, and easy always wins... or something))

For two weeks, we sailed. The ocean lurched and rolled, mimicking the anxious nature of my heart. Dressed in common and concealing rags to stave off unwanted advances from the crewmen, Lady Gabrielle and I have done our best to earn our passage. We have learned to tie knots, and done laundry with sea water. My hands are red and raw, my neck and arms are tanned hide from the sun's reflection on the waves, and my hair ... oh dear, my hair. But all of these great sacrifices are happily paid, so that I might see a certain man at a cafe, and learn the whereabouts of my beloved. I would withstand a year of this, and worse, to look upon his face again.

The food aboard is quite unpalatable to me, but each night I have taken a bowl of soup or stew and a heel of bread with grateful hunger and enthusiasm, for each meal marks another day we are at sea, and another strike upon the days until I see him again.

Yesterday, I stood on the main deck, beside my loyal and true friend. Lady G and I were doing exceptionally poorly with our knot-tying lessons from a sweet boy, Dan, who did his best to be a gentleman and not to laugh at our miserable failures. So intent were we on our lesson, and for so long did we toil that I did not see a land mass, rising magically from the endless blue rippling satin of the ocean.

A call of "Land, Ho!" was heard from the crow's nest, above, and I froze. Hands ceased to work on the knot. Only the few tendrils of hair which I was unable to tame were brushing my cheek. I dared not raise my view for a few minutes that felt like weeks, for fear of finding it was an error, or worse, a prank. Finally, I lifted my head and there it was. A hazy smudge on the horizon that, while I watched, took shape from simple form to detailed land, and a town's walls grew from within it, as if it were being painted by some celestial hand before my eyes.

I stood, staring, and the vision blurred. I reached out my hand as if to urge the painter to continue, until I realized that this creation was not being undone; it was only my tears of happiness which robbed the details from my view.

There was a growing sound coming from the direction of the land, as well. The constant snap of the sails above and the roar of the sea below were replaced by creaking wagon wheels, cries of purveyors, and the rising and falling of the voices of those near the pier; I mused that this new sound ebbed and flowed just as the ocean, but this wave would bring me to shore.

To shore!

I dropped the length of rope I had been holding, at my feet and spun around, dashing for the cabin to do what I could to be more presentable. I ripped gown after gown out of my flung-open trunk and settled on one that would do. Turning, I held it up to my fuzzy reflection in the looking glass and found myself unsure. Would he dislike me, so disheveled, and undone? What of our future? I could not always be what he had met; surely not, now that I had left behind my inheritance. Worry tried to worm its way into my mind, until a bell rang, signaling that our ship was coming into port. Gabrielle rushed into the cabin and I grasped her hand, trembling with the deluge of emotion rushing through me: terror, exhilaration, joy and worry all rushed through my veins like a heady wine. I burst out, half laughing, half crying and made my way behind the dressing screen, and Lady G. saw that my corset was tightened, and all as it should be. Dear G. I know I should have gone mad without her temperate and reassuring voice each day.

My fichu discarded and each measure of fabric properly placed, I emerged from the cabin to see the crew sliding the gangplank down to the pier. I nearly ran to be the first disembarking, but the Captain's hand caught my arm, gently, "M'lady.... we must wait." What was he thinking!? I must depart! I must find the cafe that Edward told me of!! My face must have been full of righteous outrage, for his tone softened and he blocked the view of my paradise; my escape.

Captain Zeffirelli pulled me aside and out of the line of crewman throwing lines and securing the gangplank "We've just now landed in port, M'lady. We'll do a bit of waiting for now. My first mate has gone to speak to the tide waiters, to clear that all may go ashore. Here, I have set up a chair near the rail, so that you might watch its progress." Such a kind and thoughtful gesture brought me back to my senses and I merely smiled and allowed him to pull the chair back slightly so that I might sit; gathering my skirts as I did so, but leaning forward, intently. The Captain sat not far off, strumming a lute and I silently censured myself for not having the forethought to bring more coins with me. I would want to properly thank the Captain for allowing such dangerous cargo on board his ship.

Time passed, and we conversed. I did my best to be interested, engaging and pleasant but each moment that passed seemed to extend the distance between Edward and myself.... a distance I could not bear.

When the voice of the first mate below yelled "All clear to go ashore, Captain!" I feared that my heart would burst from my chest and I stood quickly, eyes on the Captain to be assured that we now could finally make progress. His head nodded, a small and fleeting smile on his face before returning to the proud and capable Captain. Lady G joined us, and we made our way down to the pier, and through the city gates into a bustling town center. So much noise after the wind, the ocean and creaking ship being my ear's companions. I understood now, in some small measure, why the Captain chose the serenity of the sea.

I looked around, turning this way and that, until finally catching the eye of a young girl passing with a basket of goods

"Excuse me.... would you be so kind as to direct me to the cafe?"

Her answer, a wry smile and a pointed finger over my right shoulder "Just over there, Madame"

I curtsied, slightly blushing for having missed what was so near before me and the Captain, Lady G. and myself made our way through the crowd to an empty table sitting on the square. Before long, a servant came and asked us if we would be interested in some food and drink. The Captain saw to ordering and I jumped at the chance to ask if the owner of the cafe might visit our table. So eager to find out my next destination, was I.

The servant smiled and I expected an answer in the affirmative, but was told "Oh, Madame, he is not here tonight! Tomorrow morning he will be here with the dawn, M'Lady!" before turning with a small curtsey and moving to retrieve our wine. My heart sank; so impatient to be rejoined with my heart. The Captain and Lady G. were so reassuring, so kind, so understanding.

The night passed without my eyelids meeting. Every so often I would tumble from the bunk aboard the ship and seek out any sign of dawn, while a groggy and half-sleeping Gabrielle would mutter "Daniela.... patience," so accustomed as we were to using different names to travel under.

Finally, the dark turned to a golden hue, and while my companion slumbered soundly, I pulled on my gown and fastened the robes around me. I ran my hand along the wall to guide me and alit onto an eerily empty deck. The crew, full of wine and exhausted from their merriment, no doubt, were nowhere in sight.

I made my way into the town just as the carts, full of fresh supplies were guided by their purveyors to their daily spots, and saw a robust gentleman giving direction to the servants at the cafe.

"Sir...." I quietly intruded "I have traveled weeks to reach this destination in the hopes that you might place within my hands a note of great import to my future..." His expression of annoyance at interruption was replaced with confusion, and then with realization as he snapped his fingers, remembering "Yes! I was given the task and no small reward for seeing that a certain message might reach a young lady matching your description," he replied, and without hesitation he waddled into the cafe for but a moment, returning with a letter. Emblazoned on its face: Olivia

I stood holding this treasure and smiled up at him with glimmering eyes, unable to impart my thanks for his great part in this adventure and he waved me off, saying "Go on and get your news. I hope the writer's ills don't trouble him long, he seemed quite pale but quite intent on this delivery."

I stood, perplexed, and as the shadows lengthened, stood in the town square, reading the words:

"My dear Olivia,

I shall forever feel the weight of my distress in learning that you believed I wished for you to accompany me here. I have just recently got word that your plans to marry the Baron were interrupted by some misleading fancy that I felt for you what he feels.

You must consider me cowardly for not making it plain to you sooner than this, but my dear, had I the slightest inclination that you felt for me, more than my own steadfast friendship, I would have set you straight -- this you must believe.

I pray your journey has not brought you any ill, and that your return shall be a passage of fair winds and calmest oceans. I look forward to the happy tidings of your marriage, and wish for you, my dearest friend, nothing but happiness.

Sincerely,

Edward"

The paper fluttered to the ground, soundlessly. The sun bore down in its heavenly brilliance upon the hats and heads gathered in the square. The ocean lapped at the shore. And in my breast, my heart shattered into a million pieces.

_________________________________________________________________

In England, the Duke sat seeing to documents as the Duchess embroidered near the fire, occasionally repeating things she had heard from her maid (a hopeless gossip). He did not hear her, for his mind was occupied with just one question:

Had his fastest ship been fast enough to deliver a large payment to a certain young man, and had he purchased his disappearance?

(to be continued....)

[A letter is found by the maid, Katie, on Olivia's desk, marked to her parents but not sent by any courier. It is immediately sent by rider to the Northern estate house]

Dearest Mama and Papa:

I have written this over and again, in an attempt to tell my feelings, but time runs short, and I must finally have it done. I have received Mama's letter advising me to follow with haste her instructions to come North and to marry the Baron Clive. I know now that Katie must have spied upon me, and I know that she is not true and loyal to me, but to you both. This saddens me beyond words, but so be it. I shall tell you, in my own words, what she chose to tell you in her's.

These several weeks, I have come to know and to love a young man. This, in itself, should bring joy to the hearts of a young girl's parents, but I find myself instead faced with a consequence of that love which I cannot bear. I am quite sure that the Baron Clive is a fine and noble gentleman. I am also quite sure that you have the best intentions for my future in the match. But, I pray you... both of you... think back to when you first met. I have heard the story told to me as long as I can remember; how great a love that you, Papa, felt for you, Mama, and how he would bear no obstacle to your marriage.

Fortune smiled upon you, as there was no impediment to the match, in that a gentle birth was assured and peerage proven. Answer this with your heart, Papa, I beg you: Were that not so, would you have given up your great love for the betterment of your fortune?

I know that you believe me a good and loving daughter, and I know within the very core of my heart that I have, for as long as I have lived, I have followed your instruction, regardless of its impact upon myself. But, I cannot do so now. I cannot and will not do as you command. Not this time.

My heart is set upon this young man. I shall not tell you his name for I know that you would do him ill, Papa. I have packed what I am able in short time, and am leaving England this very night to seek him out in another country. I shall not tell you of my whereabouts or any details of my passage until we are joined in a bond before the eyes of the Creator.

Know that my heart is heavy with this choice, for I wish to be a good and obedient daughter, and be a blessing to you both.

Please thank the Baron for his generous and tempting offer, and advise him that I am unable to accept his proposal, for I am promised to another.

I shall write as soon as I am able, and until then, please know that I am your loving daughter, and devoted to your every happiness, but this.

Olivia

_________________________________________________________________________

In the country house, as the Duke and Duchess enjoy an afternoon on the lawn, a rider hands the letter over, and a roar of anger is expelled from her father's lungs. He immediately stands, toppling the table and the tea, as her mother takes the letter and reads. Her expression turns to one of horror as the Duke storms toward the stables.

Before he can ride off, however, the Baron arrives in his carriage holding up a small brown book and calling out to the Duke. A short conversation ensues, and it becomes clear that the maid had been watching Olivia's actions closely, and although Olivia had made every effort to hide the few trunks she meant to flee with, Katie found them, and pulled her journal from the contents. The Duke reads its contents, sure that this will prove useful in tracking her, gives his blessing to the Baron to take it, and use it as he sees fit.

Shortly after, at the pier, the Duke sees that six of his fleet of merchant vessels are sent out. Four to the North, South, East and West, one to La Rocca Sorrentina, (where Olivia had traveled to often) carrying the Baron onboard, and one to France to seek information there.

The Duke returns to find the Duchess overcome with worry. He does his best to soothe her, but something that he read in the journal comes to mind and he tells her not to fret; that he will return in a fortnight, and all will be well. The Duchess, assured of a positive outcome, seems calmer, and the Duke sets out for a destination mentioned more than just in passing in Olivia's journal. He tells no one.

____________________________________________________________________________________

To be continued....

((OOC: I would like to thank a very dear friend for the inspiration to write this story line. You've pulled me from the mire of complacency and dissatisfaction into a new world of possibilities. Yes. You did. Shush.))

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I have not written of this clearly, until now. I feel that I shall perish with the telling of it, but so it must be... I need assurance that this all actually occurred, and this entry shall be my last and only remnant of a path not taken.

Each night since seeing the man outside my windows, I had thought of him. Of how his head tilted slightly forward, the dim reflection of the moonlight on his eyes, the shape of his mouth, and his fine, clear brow. So often did I dream of him, that I convinced myself he did not exist, but was merely the projection of a bored and ill contented mind, seeing what it wished to see.

Until five days after.

Whilst walking along the grounds, a figure appeared in the distance. At first, just the shape of a man. And then clearer until it formed the very gentleman I saw. My heart nearly leapt from my chest, and I had to dig my nails into my palms to prevent myself from running towards him. When first our eyes met, we knew. We both felt it there, between us, like a hazy wall of light in deepest summer that makes all things seem to shimmer within its heated grasp. Finally, I learned his name: Edward Stafford. Edward. My heart wrapped around each syllable, and held it close as he spoke it. He bowed, and I curtsied, but neither of us cared of such things. The sun was warm, and only small clouds painted the canvas of the sky above our heads.

He turned and offered his arm, and I, so eager to learn more of him, accepted it gratefully. We walked but a little, stopping to turn and look at one another. So handsome, and engaging, and polite, was he. As he told me of his life, I relished each word, watching his face as it changed expression. He was a budding composer and son of a local land owner; likely to be saddled with the land and its tenancies and responsibilities, but still hopeful was he of a change in his fortune, so that he might pursue his own passions.

I pushed aside the thoughts that often came to mind in such meetings: that he would not be a match approved of by my parents, and simply walked with him as if we two were already promised, and our future union blessed. The simple act of walking with him, being near to him, and finally hearing his voice, and how he leaned over to look upon me when he made me laugh brought me to a happier place than I believe I had been in far too long.

When the rain started again, as it so often does, out of nowhere, I turned as if to bring him back to the house, but he (wisely) suggested we run beneath the nearby bridge for cover. We smiled at one another and ran, hand in hand, like children, toward the mossy stones, where I lost my footing and nearly fell into the stream. But he, so deft and quick, caught me and in a moment that I will carry with me for as long as I occupy this earth, his eyes locked with mine. I looked up at him, unaware that my arms were encircling him, and his lips were upon mine. O, I still feel them now... So warm and soft, so urgent in their passion, yet so careful and so gentle.

And from this entry, anyone would believe that my tarot reading sprang to life. That my path was clearly chosen, and that from that day henceforth, all would be as if in a fairy tale. And oh, in that day, it was. The rain with gentle tiny fingers caressed our faces as we kissed. And even in that rain, a stream of sunlight poured down upon us as if providence itself were bestowing its blessing.

We spoke again. And again. We planned our escape. He thought Belgium a place we two could steal away to. And each day I moved one gown, one pair of slippers, one hair pin, one hat, one belonging, to a place where they could be taken at a moment's notice. I used excuses of repair, of giving them to the less fortunate. Any excuse to avoid suspicion. I grew closer to stepping over the threshold and into my future and each day closer brought such joy to me, that my friends likely believed me ill. T'was that I was so deep in thought of when my horse threw me, and t'was that which brought a brighter smile to my greetings.

Oh, but such paths are not to be taken.

On the day of our first meeting. On the day of my lips first knowing their mate, I did not see my maid... formerly my mother's maid, Katie, as she crossed the bridge, returning from the market. She must have spied us. And I have no doubt that she immediately reported it to Mama. Oh that selfish, shrew! That I could go back in time and see her, I would give her anything... anything... just not to do what she has done...

Today, upon my return from a very lively and insightful book discussion, a letter was handed to me by Katie. I should have known the contents by the guilty expression on her face.

Nothing could have prepared me for this....

Dearest Daughter,

I write to tell you to come North immediately. Your Papa and I have finally agreed upon a match.

You are to marry Robert Clive a Baron of good fortune and although his age is advanced beyond what I had hoped for you, my dear Olivia, I fear that some rumors have reached me that make this match imperative.

Your things will be packed and moved upon completion of the nuptials, one week hence at the Parish here at the country estate.

Make haste, my dearest daughter, for your future awaits you, and your groom must away to the colonies shortly after.

Your own Mama

Flinging the letter to the floor as if its words could be removed if never looked upon again, I sank down against the doors. I have never cried so hard without any tears; as if my tears had turned to ash, and my dreams burned to blackened, lifeless embers. The hope for my happy future is over. Edward is away seeing to lodgings at our final destination, and when he returns, I will have gone. He will think me uncaring and I shall never be able to tell him this is not my doing. I have no doubts that the servants will do all they can to dissuade him from following me, should that be his inclination.

I am inconsolable. I can only hope that this Baron... this horrid man who has stolen away my dreams... shall go to the colonies forever...

[the entry ends with smudged droplets... evidence of tears lace the page]

A Caribean Adventure by Alikasah01 and KianaDumont

CHAPTER 2

The Rise Of An Idea

As I woke up, I found myself fully dressed on my bed. What has happened?....Oh yes the letter...... but all seemed like a bad dream. It already started to get dark outside...the shadows

in the house began to grow taller. Through my open Bedroom door I noticed a pale beam of light....it came from the Library. I rose and moved cautiously over to the Library.

Matisse sat with a bowed head on the sofa....the letter on the table in front of him....So it was no Dream! As he noticed me he stood up and looked at me realy worried moved a chair for me and asked : Shall I get you a cup of Tea , Madame? I noded, sat down dazed and asked:

What happened, Matisse? He stoped on his way turned back to me and said: You fainted in the Chambre de Musique, Mylady. Your Chambermaid Marie and I put you on your bed. I was just going to call for the family doctor, Docteur Panacek..... Oh that wont be neccesary

Matisse, merci....but get me the Tea... With a casual movement of my hand I dismissed him, he bowed and went away. I read the letter once more.........we might need to expect the worst.........was Jules-Philippe still alive? Whom should I contact ? And the ransom.....

10 000 Livre! Mon Dieu! Who does these Pirates think we are ?

Matisse just came back with a cup of Tea, with a little bow he placed the small tray on the table and looked at me quizzically. I just thought I need to get the money....somehow!.

Matisse get me a feather, some ink and some Paper!. He did as he was told and sat down on a cushion next to the table. After a few sips of tea, I began to write several letters.....to the Royal Navy Ministry and to some wealthy relatives with the request for money.

Dawn just began as I sealed the letters with wax and ordered a Valet to bring it to the courier service We should retire and get some sleep.... I mentioned and the little Moor noded thankfully.

Desperat Days of waiting followed....The beautiful Parc de Lourmarin was in full bloom, but I could not enjoy it. The little jokes of Matisse did not brighten my mood, even as he tried as much as possible to change my thoughts.....

After a felt eternity the Messenger came back with some letters.....As Matisse brought them to me I felt reliefed.....after that the deepest desperation....Admiral de Grasse of the Royal Navy Ministry told me that the coincedence needs further observation..... My relatives told me that they have higher expenses for their households at the moment and they are not able to lent me any money....etc..... My Desperation followed anger. One evening I swept the letters from the table furiously. Matisse ducked himself frightend. I rose and walked towards the window, I looked outside to the sea and played lost in my thoughts with the Globe. The Globe began to spin and promptly Matisse said, who followed me to the window,Look....America! I glanced on the globe...realy Western Europe and the coastline of the new world. I thougt....and spontaniously something came to my mind....Matisse... we will do something in that case...... we will travel to the Caribean! His little eyes seemed to drop out of his head.....

Ohhhhhh, Madame is not aware ...what she just mentionedhe made the sign of the cross.

This was the first time after all I needed to laugh I am absolutely aware mon Petit! I poked him on his nose.

In the following days my
Chambermaid packed my travel chest. Do we realy need to take all this with us
? asked Matisse. A Lady of my Position, never travels without a suitable wardrobe, that you should know
Matisse! I answered. He murmured something in Creole, which I do not want to
translate in this moment. The Bagage was sent ahead with a coach, the
destination was LeHavre....a few days later we followed.

We passed the beautiful Landscape of France and we reached Le Havre in the late Afternoon of the following day.

We took accommodation in a suitable Inn and we asked for the departing ships. This is your lucky day, your grace said the Innkeeper The Triumph de France shall depart tomorow. The Captain will be certainly in the Ancre dOr Tavern tonight....

After a little Toilette, we went to the Ancre dOr Tavern and ordered a light meal.....we looked around ......The tavern was filled with sailors, who drank and smoked their pipes. We waited anxiously.Suddenly the sailors calmed and a tall man in a blue Uniform entered the room......The Captain was there.......

[Journal Entry - 4 July 1773]

In the early morning hours yesterday, I arose and made my way to the stables to take my mare for the day's ride. I advised my maid that I would be back in time for tea as I had many stops to make that day. She protested, of course, that I had not had anything to eat. She is determined that I take better care of myself.

As the boy fetched and geared Barrow (named after a particularly long-faced Governess I had as a child), I contemplated my life. A rather meaningless occupation for one newly twenty, but my lack of suitable suitors was a constant ghost, haunting me. Mama threw every Earl, Duke and Count my way, but either they had no interest in a silly young girl, or I no interest in dull men. Papa constantly threatened the convent, but as he had not wrapped me in a modest cloak and shipped me off to Coldingham Monastery, I surmised that it was merely his way of keeping me in line.

Atop Barrow, my main concern was getting where I needed to go with as little of nature's decoration as possible. The roads were thick with mud after so much rain. A carriage was quite out of the question. I had to see Mrs. Hill - our blacksmith's wife, who'd taken ill - to ask after her health; to see the Vicar, to make a donation to the fund for newly opened orphanage; and to speak with a number of others on various personal matters. Some may think that a politely written letter would suffice; I disagree. Certain things should be done in person, and personally, to my mind.

I did not make it off the estate when something spooked the horse. She reared. I remember screaming as I lost my grip and flew. A thousand things flooding my mind in the blink of an eye. Then nothing more.

I cannot be sure how long I lay on the road, but as it is part of the estate, no stranger would have found me, and as I was to be gone the entire day, no servant came to look for me.

Barrow was gone. I do not know where to. I merely brushed myself clean as best I could, and had great difficulties in keeping myself upright. My hat hid any marks left by the road and I was able to struggle back to the house without being seen. Katie knocked and I sent her away, saying that I was feeling poorly, and to ask the cook to send up some broth. She would leave it on the table in the sitting room, I knew, so I made my way into my dressing room and fell back onto the chaise.

I took stock of myself. Legs were in working order, though quite weak. I was not bleeding, or at least that I knew of, still dressed in my riding habit. But the one maddening thing was the light. The candle light seemed magnified a hundred... nay... a thousand times. I could not bear to open my eyes, so brilliant and intrusive.

After a long night's rest, it seems to have subsided some, though I still have a residual halo around all things, as if all things were framed in a heavenly aura. I shall have to cleverly use paste and powders to hide some discoloration along my cheekbones but all in all, feel quite fortunate to have sustained only minor injuries.

A Caribian Adventure by Alikasah01 and KianaDumont Resident

Chapter 1

The Letter

It ist he year of the Lord 1774. It is the rise of a new Era in France, but this year already started sad........

Our King, his Majesty Louis XV died at May 10 ^th and a lot of things changed in France.

Monsieur le Dauphin became the new King Louis XVI and Mme la Dauphine became our new Queen Marie-Antoinette.

High hopes were set on the new King and Queen in their young age.

But that is another story..... It is also the year when I experienced the biggest Adventure of my life......

First, I think, I need to introduce myself...... I am Alexandrine-Josephine de Fiennes, Comtesse de Lourmarin. I was born in March 25 ^th 1750 into the Noble family of the de Gramonts.

My childhood was protected and nice, I never had to fear poverty or hunger. My dear Father granted us children almost every wish, but he died very early.

To provide a controlled condition of a safe environment for a young noble Mlle like me, I was married in 1768 to a four years younger distant Cousin of the de Fiennes Family.

Jules-Philippe de Fiennes, Comte de Lourmarin......

It was an arranged marriage, my dear Mother always feared that I could end as an old Spinster because I was already 18 years of age.As a young girl you always have the imagination of Romance and true love, but I was aware what the society expected from me....

I do not know much about my husband, he is always a bit reserved towards me. One might think he has a difficult character, but it seems he acts normal, like the gentlemen of his age do in these times. I could never complain , at least he treats me in a nice way. Even when I am not blessed with children in our marriage.....

Soon after the marriage, I was introduced to the Royal Court of Versailles, which was a bit hard for me in the beginning , due to the strict Etiquette. I soon learned, that some Courtiers seemed nice, but werent necessarily nice at all. The advice of my dear Mother to watch always my reputation was very helpful and it certainly safed me from bigger trouble.

Jules-Philippe left for the French Colonies. I am not certain if it was Martinique or Saint Lucia..... Jules-Philippe did not tell me and it was not suitable for me to ask. A woman of my position had other tasks to take care of, than to worry about Politics, colonies or the duties of a Comte. All I did know is , that he is ordered by our formerly King Louis XV to bring back cane sugar to France.....The french Aristocracy developed a huge appetite for sugar and sweets. So my husband returned to France from time to time.

Once from his journeys Jules-Philippe brought back a little black boy called Ali, who was employed as our servant. This little Moor was a sign of wealth, I was told. Even Mme duBarry la Maitresse de roi owened one. Therefore Ali was good educated and well dressed. Very soon he was baptized and recieved the proper catholic name Jean-Matisse.

Jean-Matisse, or Matisse like I used to call him , has always been a trustworthy, loyal and devoted servant. We can call ourselfs fortunated that someone like him is taking care of our Household.

One day...it must have been in June or July.....I returned from my duties at Versailles to our own Estate in southern France... I was relaxing in the Chambre du musique, while Matisse played something on the Harpischord.....I saw a young Messenger on a horse heading to my Palais. He handed out a letter to one of the Valets. Matisse who promptly stopped his play, brought it to me on a silver tray. I opened it and read the following lines........

I just thought . No..... No..... That can not be true! . I droped the letter and felt the weaken of my legs......I felt dizzy and the world around me, turned into black.........

............to be continued

Chateau de Coucy,

Coucy province, France.

----------

July the 3nd, 1774.

Ma chere soeur Jacqueline,

The last days for me have been full of such torment and sadness that I have last experienced since *that incident* now more than a year ago. I am writing to you from our ancestral home in which I reside for the time being before returning to Versailles. I am writing to you as I cannot talk to anybody else than you, dear Jacqueline.

You may have already received news about me or perhaps not but I am now a married woman. These are sudden news, I know, even for myself. I received a letter from Maman a week ago saying that my grandfather, Duc de Coucy, have decided to marry me into wealthy family and that I had to quickly depart to my then fiance's home where the two families shall meet and where I shall meet my future husband. I was in complete shock as I could not believe that I would be married so quickly and at such a young age!

I knew I had to prepare quickly for my long journey. There was a lot to be packed and organised of course! I was very grateful to know that our cousine Cecile and my dear friend Mlle de Fiennes were there to see me off... I left with my luggage in the early foggy morning. The one person who accompanied me on my journey was our aunt Comtesse de Louvigny who has always been my great support since the time I first arrived at court.

It was quite a long journey as it seems my husband's lands are situated closer to the north of France, in Normandy gouvernement. In fact, not very far away from the fortress Mont Saint Michel! Me and Lottie were very tired by the time we arrived and we soon had to quickly deal with our luggage and then quickly present ourselves to my in-laws... And my husband-to-be. I must tell you that he, of course, is nothing like the main male characters in those novels that you like to read. *smirks*

He is, in appearance, not good looking and rather chubby but he, as I later found out, was kind. He has this kind of face, that just can't be hated by anyone. Just like a child, I'd say! He doesn't like court life at all but he was kind enough to let me go back to Versailles on promise that I would visit his home frequently. I would not be able to live a secluded life with his quite unfriendly family. They sometimes seem like a gathering of chicken, peacocks and parrots all together. *draws caricatures of her in-laws on empty space of the letter* ... Oh, and I forgot to mention that he is quite rich! His lands seem to do well business including sea businesses as he is involved with ports and army forces also.

Of course, the wedding was far away from grand as both our families wanted to quickly finish with this business and then followed the dinner and of course the wedding night afterwards... *doesn't finish the sentence or the paragraph and instead there are 2 ink stains and some space in the letter*

*Sophie clearly blushed at that moment unable to write*

* * *

Ah, as I said before, my husband let me leave to Versailles. In total, I stayed in my new home for 3 days or a bit more. Of course, I had to visit Chateau de Coucy and where I am staying at the moment to visit my family once more and especially Maman and our Grandpapa. I will be soon be departing with our sister Lottie. I *did* try to persuade my husband to go with me but he would not budge and so I left him be. Of course I'll visit him from time to time when I can as promised.

And I write you this the day before I depart back to Versailles hoping to see my friends and our family who resides there. I finish this letter with an embrace and million kisses as I know that is not enough to compare to what you have done for me.

Je t'embrasse,

ta tendre soeur Sophie.

The entry is smudged in places, the hand looks hurried and frenetic

[Journal Entry - 1 July 1773]

I have not slept at all. Not once did my eyes close since Ladies Merry and Gabrielle departed. I have danced alone on the lawn, and picked blooms in the middle of the night. O, how I wish the delight of this night could continue, but I know there is work ahead...

I had availed myself of Lady Merry's talent with the tarot deck during the weekend's events; but foolishly, I left the matter of my future open to the deck, and much to my dismay it answered in riddles and obscurely. And so I had requested that perhaps whence a clearer query came to mind, I might again impose.

And so, this night, it was done.

I clearly explained that I was upon a road, quite stable, and quite straight. But that before me lay two paths; one, which if sought, might give me great pleasure, but those around me some measure of sorrow, and another, that, if taken, would leave me bereft of happiness, but make others quite satisfied. I advised Lady M. that I wished to know if the path that I, in my heart, wished to choose, was the one unto which cards might give their celestial blessings.

I dare not write my true feelings on this, as until my foot lands over the threshold and my future is assured, I mustn't breathe a word, but still, the message is one that deserves telling, and so I shall in as enigmatic a fashion as I am able....

The writing style improves - flourishes adorn the carefully penned poem...

Upon the grate, the wheel reversed
No choice advised, no choice is cursed;
The kindling there the Eight of Wands
Reversed, creativity in bonds
Upon my mantel, there does hover
None other card than of The Lovers
The hearth rug is reversed Wands Four
And as it stands, I rest no more

Calamity, departure takes
The Tower out the back doth snake
And in the front, O, woeful Death
But where one dies, another's breath
Then Pentacles of Eight does show
Where, with my efforts, skill shall grow
Queen of Pentacles: Kin and friend
The next card will they stand, defend

The Queen of Swords sits throned, reversed
My choice maligned, my name is cursed
But Knight of Cups, aloft does ride
The universe, my love, abides
And as within display it seems
From darkness coming sun's bright beams
Two lovers standing on a cliff
Hand in hand at precipice

No love borne of similarity
For in the blend, disparity
One with heart of stone, dismayed
The other, by no storm allayed.