“Non farci fare una brutta figura”
Communty News & Events
Dear Friends and Fellow History Enthusiasts:
We, the leadership team of il Principato di Melioria, would like to address an issue that unfortunately came up recently at one of our events. One of us witnessed an exchange in which a lady made an unnecessarily snide comment about another ladys physical appearance and features, directly to her face. It was one of those things that was disingenuously framed as a helpful remark or a suggestion, but in the context and the manner of its delivery, it was clearly meant as a put-down. The Lady to whom it was addressed had the good taste and self-control to merely ignore the comment, but when we realized what had passed in the conversation, we were quite unhappy.
A key part of life in Melioria is that we wish to take an approach to our social interactions that is based upon the best aspects and ideals of 18th century society and history, and the humanism that is at the core of the Enlightenment. In our impromptu conversations and social activities, we ask for our residents and our guests to display the tolerance, respect, and civility that would have been admired and emulated among the best elements of society during the Age of Reason. This is, in part, a matter of preference. We can be anything we want in Second Life, so why not aspire to be the best sort of civilized people we can?
But it also has an historical foundation: the premise of our island is that it is a tourist resort as well as a commercial center. It is a place where gentlemen and ladies from many different nations, political philosophies and religious faiths come together for recreation, intellectual discussion, and to do business. Without civility and an adherence to principles of true mannerliness, good breeding, and decent behavior that were espoused by period authors such as Jonathan Swift, Adolph Freiherr Knigge and the Earl of Chesterfield, the island could not function. In short, it would be bad for business.
Yes, we all know that mean-spirited discourse and public ridicule did happen in this era, particularly in certain environments. But it was not universal by any means, and an over-emphasis on that minor aspect of social life in certain very limited contexts of the 18th century is not only unpleasant, it borders on caricature. Court etiquette as it was developed under Louis XIV and applied in many different nations and principalities in this era was designed to foster decorum and control. One might have made snide commentary about someone else, but most likely it would not have been to their face: if one did so, there would have been consequences.
Finally, there is another simple reality to be considered: that mean-spirited comments in open chat are not only inappropriate, but also are nasty to be around. They adversely affect the experience and the ambiance for everyone else. Indeed it is the reputation for such incivility that deters many people we know from participating in roleplay in regions where such behavior is becoming increasingly common, and has even given all of the 18th century Royal Courts regions an undeserved bad reputation among the larger community of historical roleplayers. If you really feel compelled to point out some need for improvement in another persons appearance, behavior or accessories, the polite thing would be to do so in private IM. In our view, such criticism, even if meant to be constructive criticism, should be kept out of public chat.
However, If you really feel that being "catty" is just essential for your characters persona, then, there are places to go where incivility in open chat is acceptable.
But it is not acceptable in Melioria.
If you choose to make egregiously negative comments in open chat -- unless it is a deliberately conceived element of a roleplaying scenario or situation that has been mutually agreed upon by those who are participating -- it will not earn you status or respect in Melioria. In fact, if you persist in displaying this brutta figura while on our island, you will be asked to leave and not return.
Thank you.
Dio Kuhr
Sere Timelss
Aldo Stern
updated by @aldo-stern: 13 Oct 2016 12:43:07PM
