Common Sense and Second Life.

We all know that Second Life is a vast and colorful community. Over the last three years I have met so many wonderful people who I consider genuine, true friends. Unfortunately, as in any large community there is a dark side to Second Life. There are opportunists, users, and downright scammers. As land owners, Bedrich and I have ,many times, been targets of scammers. Scammers are usually very likeable people, they are charming, seemingly nice, inspire trust and know exactly how to get you to part with your money and time. They prey on your needs and dreams. People who fall victim to scammers have a belief system that allows them to trust in people they don't know and to assume that others won't cross a certain line of trust and morality. Well, scammers do and will. Plus, scammers usually part with some of their own money to give you a false sense of security. Scammers can range from people who approach you and seem to have the same Sl "dream" as yours or they can be ambassadors of a seemingly legitimate but false web-site for a charity or other organisationor they can take the shape of a man or woman who convinces you that you are the one and only in their life. One thing they all have in common is that they will try to convince you to either share control of or pay for something. Some deliberately scam and some are just unstable, immature people who are selfish and manipulative.

Whatever the scam, you will be the one left out in the cold.

Why did I start this topic? Over the last few months there have been more incidences of people I know or know of who have been scammed in our community. Please, please do not trust people you don't know very, verywell, especially if land or money is involved. Learn to say no. In real life if someone you just met said "Let's partner up" and asked you to hand them money or land or control of anything." Would you? I hope not. Ask yourself, what is the risk here? Am I willing to take it? Do your homework...don't fall prey to emotions. Common sense...it's a good thing.

Duchesse Skye

updated by @skye-varriale: 06 Oct 2016 06:06:29AM

You're so right on every word you saidSky. Thank you so much for this statement.

Quite right sky there are alot of 'scamers' out there with no concideration for anyone except themselves.. Yes Sl is what you make of if but there has to be a line drawn somewhere, why cant the scammers just got else where and leave us be

I think there are scammers all around us in RL too. Anyplace where thereare real assets or money. The internet just makes it easier. I think that we all have to stop with the 'victim' mentality and be more proactive about the decisions we make. That brings us back to the common sense thing. If someone approaches you who seems to good to be true, be careful. Stop, think, say no.

May, I also add and wait. One thing about schemes and scheming people, eventually with time they are always revealed for what they really are. Because the world we inhabit in second life is a virtual world, we tend to forget that behind the avies are real people and that everyone here is here for the same purpose as we are. People behave, no matter what personality they assume in second life, pretty much as they would in real life...with the same values and morality, or lack there of and our traits always surface, no matter who we pretend to be, as we can't truly change them in second life, if we have not changed ourselves in real life.

I agree Alexis. People do have short memories though. We tend to forgive and forget or maybe just forget. That can sometimes allow the same people to continue to take advantage of others. Good for them, bad for those who have just arrived in the royal court community. Maybe it's a good idea for newcomers to ask around and do some investigating before getting involved financially with someone.

Yes, that is a problem. Also, my experience with reporting people is it is such a long and slow process withlittle resolutionfrom LL that it often seems useless. LL does not take reports seriously enough.

... if something in your brain says, "Something seems a bit off (strange) here" ...

It probably is. Time and caution and a kind, but *firm*, "I'm so sorry, but not now," will always serve one well. Thank you for the thought, Skye.

I agree...to both of you.

Speaking of common sense, one of the best things you can do to protect yourself is to educate yourself.

Here's a link that Skyehad shared with me manyyearsago. It has some great information that applies to many situations encountered not only in SL but in RL too Cyberbulling on the Internet

--
Proprietress of Tatiana's Tea Room ~ Owner of the Provence Coeur Estate ~ Webmistress of this site

"The Number One rule for dealing with this type of behaviour is: don't respond, don't interact and don't engage. This is not as easy to do as it sounds. It's a natural response to want to defend yourself, and to put the person right. However, never argue with a serial bully; it's not a mature adult discussion, but like dealing with a child or immature teenager; whilst the serial bully may be an adult on the outside, on the inside they are like a child who's never grown up - and probably never will. Serial bullies and harassers often have disordered thinking patterns and do not share the same thoughts or values as you."

this applies to both lives indeed. i find this rule very useful, but if you think about it there are ways you can act. In SL as a landowner you can show a person his limits very easily by pointing out that he violates rules. Once there are rules it makes sense to put a person right in my opinion.

But anyway, thats almost a different topic...

sadly it does seem that if the threat of actual bodily violence, or the intervention of the authorities are removed from the equation, a lot of people in Secondlife lose all boundaries of morality, and right and wrong.

I've heard of LL acting quickly on an Abuse Report but it depends on the situation. Griefing tends to get a quicker response, for example.

For matters concerning business deals gone wrong (scams etc.) my understanding is that they may compile a case file andit takes a number of ARs from different sources before they act.

Once they decide to do something, LL can be quite successful at banning all the ALTs of an individual.

--
Proprietress of Tatiana's Tea Room ~ Owner of the Provence Coeur Estate ~ Webmistress of this site

The "cyberbulling on the internet" is a great link. We used it in a similar situation in the past where I was attacked by a group after gaining some reknown for a project I did for another game company. Bottom line is a bunch of cyber bullies were jealous and started harassing me and my group. It went on for over a year before the game company got their lawyers involved and put an end to it. This link was useful in making us understand the mind of a cyber-bully and why they act the way they do. It helped us understand how to handle the situation and yes, it was hard not to respond or defend oneself but we managed and they eventually crashed and burned all on their own. Cyber bullies are rampant on the internet and take all forms. I have met quite a few since I have been here, some even within our community. Once youhave experienced them firsthand, you know the type right away. I tend to trust very few people online and only after knowing them a long while.

This is a very useful matter, thanks Skye!
From the reading of our friends, known that us a great awareness and maturity in to face this phenomenon...
It needs to be careful and never to be superficial when it speaks of money or of other...
I am d I grant with Skye, it needs to have few friends and trusted.
L friendship is not alone a "Hello", but it is conquered her/it and she deserves him...but this is another history...

This is so well said and just something to take to heart. It's not a good thing to learn caution from the misfortunes of others.